About DaddyFactory

Mar 13th, 2007 by daddydaddy

Why start a blog devoted to dads?

The motivation springs from my own experience as a relatively new father. It’s an experience that is surely common among those who have stumbled here. It was a feeling that echoed mightily through my entire being for weeks after he popped out, arms first like Super Baby:

I am the most lucky man in the universe and this little being is the best thing that ever happened to me.

But as time moved forward — seven years now — I discovered that all those (in)tangibles began to add up: the mortgage, the job, the sleeplessness, the lost freedom, the compromises.

Suddenly, I was finding it hard to share that primary emotion with Sam. How would he know that with his arrival, I became a better person? How would he know that with his first cry, I cried because I had a deeper reason for being than I had ever known? How could he learn all this it if I didn’t have the time to explain it? And how could I get the message across in the tiny fragments of time that I could squeeze in, between getting home from work and kissing him goodnight? I realized that if I took it on faith that all dads feel the kind of joy that I felt when my first child was born, then my dad must have as well, and he may have never shown it because no one told him how, and the world didn’t give him the resources or the permission to make it a priority.

In true 21st Century form, I went seeking tools to be a better dad: books, blogs, self-help sites, whatever.

But I discovered that this is an area where moms have it good, and dads are S.O.L. Women have What to Expect When You’re Expecting, What to Expect When You’re Waking Up, What to Expect When You Go To Sleep, etc.

Dads get random, ill-conceived attempts at likening fatherhood to baseball, or football, or fencing. Even the books I read to my kids are suspiciously “mum” on the role of dads.

So let’s change that right now.

I’d like to use this space to share tips, create resources, and encourage fatherhood in a way the modern world doesn’t seem to be doing right now. I’d like to do it in a way that’s fun. In a way that’s informative. And, most of all, in a way that makes us all better dads. Ideas are welcome. Energy is required. There’s the making of a revolution among all those dads who just need the license to be better and only require that the world grant them a little legroom to grow.

I hope you’ll join me in building better dads,

Lou
Dad

15 Comments »

15 Responses to “About DaddyFactory”

on 29 Sep 2007 at 6:35 pm1Serene And Not Herd

Here, here.
on 26 Oct 2007 at 5:02 pm2Keith Powers

I’m in! Kudos Lou!
on 05 Nov 2007 at 5:52 pm3Kirby Sullivan

Count me in, I know I will need the help. Thanks.
on 09 Nov 2007 at 9:56 am4Jon Charney

Very cool Lou- i think about this stuff as much as i can despite all the distractions- i am glad i stumbled onto your site, yet another way to help me remember that my most important role in life is being a great dad to my three gals- Julia, Elisabeth and Ava!
on 11 Nov 2007 at 2:20 pm5Nathan

Great idea, I’ll try to help as best I can. Again, great blog you have here, truly an inspiration!
on 04 Dec 2007 at 5:05 am6eddie

Glad I found you. I just welcomed my first into the world.(daughter) I’m the “stay-at-home” right now, also. What a jolting, mesmerizing, terryifyingly stupendous experience. Each day is a new revelation(for both of us).
on 05 Dec 2007 at 5:05 pm7Russ

Right there with you, anything to become a better Dad/person.
on 13 Dec 2007 at 12:24 am8SD Nader

Nice work, Lou. Great idea and great thoughts. I have 3 of my own (6, 5, & 3) and literally could not be any happier. Perhaps it’s because my own dad was such a turd, but ever since that first awe-inspiring, terrifying day in the hospital, I have become completely driven – obsessed really – to be a constant presence in my children’s lives. I’m not the greatest dad in the world (it’s mostly trial and error anyway, right?), but I am there every day and I am showering them with love. And you know what? They are thriving. And, oddly enough, so am I…
on 13 Dec 2007 at 8:48 pm9daddydaddy

Wow, you had three in a row… in close succession! More power to you, SD!
on 13 Dec 2007 at 11:51 pm10SD Nader

Thanks Bro. It took me a while, but I think I finally figured out how it happened…

We’d love to have more, but the mailman moved away. Ba-dum-dum!
on 21 Dec 2007 at 8:21 pm11Darcy Raust

Hey Lou!
My sister Erin sent me a BHS alumni list with you on it – so I found this blog of yours…wow! As a dad how did you find the time to create this?! I know, I know – you muti-tasked juggling kids, wife, job and friends, right?
It is fun that we found you and I’ve enjoyed skimming this site and getting to peek at you and your kids.
This is Darcy (Kavanagh) Raust, by the way. I live in NH with my husband of 10 years and our two kids. I’ll have to send you a photo of them – they are pretty darned cute. I am a school teacher – go ahead and chuckle – and I do some TV acting when I have time or get the gig. Erin lives in San Diego.
Write back when you get a chance.
Happy Holidays!
Darcy
on 05 Jan 2008 at 4:28 pm12Eric

Hi Lou

Great site, love the articles, I would love to post some on my father dedicated site http://www.diyfather.com we could syndicate articles?

Also a Link Back would be cool

Thanks

Eric
on 13 Nov 2008 at 2:03 pm13Jonathan Johnson

Love the blog and I have agreed with your same feelings as well with my kids.
on 06 Jan 2010 at 4:57 pm14dwb

Dear Daddy Factory –

I came across an old blog entry of yours about seeing the Dalai Lama and his comments on fatherhood. I am researching some information as I complete a book about fatherhood. Can you give me a bit more details about where this took place? The university? What town? I assume it was in 2007. Or, if possible, direct me to someone who would know more about this incident you experienced.

Thank you,
dwb
on 14 Jan 2010 at 9:04 pm15daddydaddy

Smith College