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Archive for the 'Bad Dad Chronicles' Category

Stop & Shop just redesigned their Crispy Rice cereal box which led to a revolt by the boy in my house who ONLY eats Crispy Rice (oddly he thinks Rice Krispies taste bad but this generic is great). a side by side blind taste test yielded a final verdict: he likes the new stuff! only [...]

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Note to self: when your kid tells you he’s going to barf, believe him.

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My sister-in-law texted me today asking for my daughter’s dress size. Did I know? Nope. Will I find out tonight? Yup. Now, about the boy…

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Switching from your music to kids music is painful. I divulge nothing new here. Yes, Dan Zanes helps. Yes, I fooled my kids into thinking that the soundtrack to O Brother, Where Art Thou? is a kids CD (On the birds and the bees and the cigarette trees… In the Big Rock Candy Mountains all [...]

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1. Dad, you’re always looking at your Blackberry! You never should have bought it. 2. You’re a big butt fart. 3. I wish they never invented business trips.

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Dear children, I love you. I’m proud of you. You bring me joy every single day. But one day, you will become adolescents. There is no way of stopping this process, it is part of life. Knowing this truth to be self-evident and inexorable, I want to make a promise to you here today: If [...]

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Yup, this about sums it up… I showed this video to my wife and she said: “See, this proves you have a problem.” And I said: “No, it proves I’m not alone and you need to recognize the global crisis at hand.”

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When Sam’s fever hit 103 recently, we talked about canning the trip to Boston. But Sylvie had an important doctor’s appointment that had taken months to schedule and we didn’t want to delay any further so Mama and I decided to split up: she’d go with Girl to Boston and I’d stay home with Boy. [...]

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